Love Languages: A Question for my fellow writers

It’s a rainy Monday evening here in Salt Lake City—a perfect occasion to sit on my living room floor and write. Here’s what my mind has been mulling over:

A person’s love language is how they feel and receive love.

When someone tells me they read my latest poem or article that I posted, I feel so loved and seen. I am honored someone took time out of their day to read what I wanted to share.

Reading what I write is honestly one of my biggest love languages. Do my fellow authors feel the same way? Do your partners read what you write? Do you prefer to stay anonymous?

Also happy National Coming Out Day for our readers from the US ❤

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E.L. Jayne Poems & Prose Blog

47 thoughts on “Love Languages: A Question for my fellow writers

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    1. I’m lucky that my family takes an interest in what I write about and love when they comment on posts I’ve shared. I also really appreciate when my partner reads what I’ve written. It’s getting to know another side of me.

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      1. I feel you on this, it definitely opens up a part of yourself that isn’t commonly seen by others. Although it makes me nervous I have nothing to hide and would rather have them know the full me and know that they won’t judge me. Hopefully you can find the same!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Does that come under Words of Affirmation? I’m currently reading one of the editions of Gary Chapman’s book. Your question about love language is interesting, because recognition and appreciation seems to be the common denominator to all of them. Does that mean it is something more fundamental than Chapman’s five languages? I watched a funny show the other day where two people humorously said that “roasting” (ie teasing) was their love language. Are the five love languages too narrow or do they neglect other aspects and ways that people express/receive love?

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    1. I think out of the five, it most closely relates to words of affirmation. Although I don’t need to have them comment on my post or even agree with what I wrote. It just means a lot to me to have them show interest in what I create. And that’s funny I’m pretty sure “roasting” is my family and I’s love language! I think there might be a case for adding more love languages because humor, music, and time apart are some that come to the top of my mind that I’m not sure would fall into a category. What do you think about the 5 love languages?

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      1. Perhaps it’s a quality time thing, someone has taken the time to read, regardless of what words of affirmation they may give?
        I think the guy who wrote the books has a decent background in counselling to be able to definitively narrow it to the five he has. But I also think it can be a bit “hearts and flowers”. The author also writes from a belief system that not everyone subscribes to and I think this also colours it a bit. But generally I think it is sound and useful to know… what do you think?

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      2. That would make sense for me because quality time is my #1 love language and I love when people read what I share. I do think it falls into the category of quality time because that person is using their time to do something meaningful for you. (Kind of sounds like an act of service how I described it, but I wouldn’t consider it that.)

        I haven’t read the book about love languages I have just taken the test numerous times. I more so subscribe to the “hearts and flowers” belief system but I understand other people have different perspectives. I think regardless it’s helpful to understand how we receive and feel love so we can communicate that with those around us. Vice versa, we can also attune how we love others so they feel loved as well. Would you recommend me to read the book?

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      3. Yes I’d recommend it, though it sounds like you know a bit already. It is a helpful book and the theory seems to work in most cases.

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  2. An interesting question — I think one of my love languages must be privacy. I rarely share my writing with my family and friends. I keep my blog anonymous from them. I will show my husband some writing, but it makes my soul feel so naked. I think it’s great you are comfortable enough with yourself and your partner to show them your writings 🙂 I aspire to be at that level one day!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. There are definitely many things I write that are just my own. And since I write a lot about love and heartbreak and all the ups and downs, it really gives a window into my life. Yes I can feel naked too but I’d rather put it all out there than hide what I am feeling. And if you desire to share more with your loved ones start small and go from there, you’ve got nothing to lose, only to gain! xo <3E

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  3. Definitely! I love when people appreciate what I write and also the people who criticize what I have written. I really appreciate it. Somehow I will be a hypocrite if I say I don’t care what people think. lol. I love to write but the main purpose why I write is to express what I feel and to read it again and again🤗. Thank you for writing I appreciate reading your blogs ❤️❤️❤️.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree, I really appreciate constructive criticism about my writing. I think we’d be lying to ourselves if we said we didn’t care about what others think. My main purpose for blogging is to express what I feel with others and for them to resonate with that and form a human connection through writing. I also journal and freewrite and those are just for myself. Thank you for reading! <3E

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  4. Nope… Unless it’s to criticize. So I prefer not to share it with them. But I do appreciate sharing with others and reading what other people have to express in their writing. It is indeed a love language

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    1. Constructive criticism is a form of love and compassion, to me at least. I always appreciate hearing how others think I can write better. It shows they care about what I’ve written, have thought about it, and support me in bettering myself and my craft.

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    1. Yes I agree you can read for different purposes. Sometimes I read to find zen, sometimes I read to find advice or answer to a question, sometimes to inform, and sometimes to give constructive criticism. I think for me that’s an important part of a relationship because it shows they care about me and what I’m writing. I know it’s different for others though. Thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh I totally relate. When I started writing poetry I was reluctant to share at first. But now I do, and the comments and lovely words from others means so much to me and my husband always reads my poetry too. It’s a lovely feeling isn’t it? as you’re putting your heart out there. Thank you for this post ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s so sweet your husband reads your poetry… If you’re like me I’m sure a lot of your poems are inspired by him and your love. It really is one of the best feelings and one of my biggest love languages…. Maybe why it didn’t work out with my past relationship. Thank you for sharing ❤

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  6. I agree that having someone read what I write makes me feel loved. My husband didn’t want to read my novel “until it got published.” I don’t think he expected it ever would. I showed him. I divorced him (for this and other reasons), plus I got published! 🙂

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    1. Unfortunately, I can relate to this for many reasons. I broke up with my boyfriend for this same reason (and others). I think that reading what your partner writes is showing that you care and taking in interest in their thoughts. What you shared with me gave me some hope, and I’m so happy that you achieved success and got published. You go girl!!! <3E

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  7. What a beautiful thought! I never thought of it that way, but I do share the feeling you mention. I feel so happy when I get an email about a new like, or a new follower. And I feel even more special when one my friends or family members tells me they enjoyed what I wrote. I feel so honored that they took a few minutes to read me.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I get a little buzz every time someone comments on my blog posts. It feels good to be seen and heard, right? Thanks for the reminder that I need to read that book about the Love Languages. I’ve been hearing about it for so long and think it’d be really interesting.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Rhonda, I too get a buzz seeing comments on my blogs. It’s one of the best feelings to get positive feedback and feel like I have connected with someone through my writing because I really do put my heart and soul into. Thank you for sharing and hopefully you enjoy the book!

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  9. I absolutely LOVE to read your writings. Especially love the PoemsOnPhotos. And even more special for me if I was present when the photo was taken, or if I have been there!! You are artfully talented and I love seeing your creations!!💕🧡🧡💕

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I don’t expect my bf to be caught up in reading my stuff because of his work, but I love how he allots portions of the time we spend together to talk about what I’m writing or thinking about writing. We have a lot of “brainstorm dates” and he’s helped create many of my characters and worlds and stories. Someday they’ll see the light of day at his constant encouragement! 🥰

    Liked by 2 people

    1. i agree, i’m not looking for them to applaud my work or even agree with it. i just appreciate the time they took to read something i’m passionate about and love to hear any feedback on how to make it better.

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    1. I agree, I only show things I’m comfortable with publishing on the internet. There are definitely pieces such as journaling and freewriting that I keep to myself. Some of my poems are just for myself as well, but I share 90% of those on my blog once I finish them because I love sharing my thoughts and connecting with others. Thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

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