Change

Hi everyone!

This week’s topic is change of opinions. This came out of a discussion with my friend this past week.

The main point is that for many people, including me, their opinions change almost radically as they go through from teenager years to young adulthood and especially adulthood. I definitely did a lot of things I said I would never do and said things I thought I would never say. That is why I am scared to say never now, because who knows how I am going to change from now on. The opinions I held, I think I was much stronger in my stances, but as I grew older, I realized there are so many details to consider that having strong opinions that apply to everyone is hard for me to keep. I think my researcher side also has a big effect on this last point, but I observed this on people who are not researchers too.

So, essentially, everything about us can change, or can it? I think I am a very different person now but I am not a different person. I still have my bubbly, talkative, cheerful (on the negative side, impulsive, overly-emotional-at-times, lazy) personality but these are all personality traits. Opinions and behaviors seem more prone to change.

What do you think of this? What changes have you noticed in yourself as you grew older?

Betul


41 thoughts on “Change

  1. Good question! Years ago, I had a short-lived political blog. At the time that I had the blog, I was deeply partisan in my political viewpoints. Very very much about promoting my side, debating to prove I was right, defending my side, etc.
    Anyway, in the 10+ years later after I quit my short-lived political blog stint, I changed, as did the political parties, as did the internet, as did the world of political discourse. Now my political views don’t fit as cleanly into a single party box as they once did. But more importantly, I shifted from debate mode to focusing more on empathetic listening.

  2. As goes the perspective; not the strongest or smartest but one who is most adaptable to change. By starting anew everyday minimizes the assumption, and all relationships remain distant.

  3. I tend to be cautious now about forming opinions. Due diligence is a thing. Like crisbiecoach above, however, I like to hold my values true 😊

  4. I see who I am as ‘many selves’ both over time and in different social situations, for me atleast, change is the only constant

  5. I know I am different, I don’t fit into crowd thinking. I have not changed my opinions or interests much at all from youth to old age. But I find that everyone around me have changed a lot. I don’t get it. Most irritating is when individuals say I am wrong and later (often over 20 years later), I see them change towards my thinking. Grrrr. /Flurry D. Dog

  6. Somehow, after nearly 8 decades, by God’s grace alone, I’m still find myself still fogging a mirror Betul 😊. I now view the world through a somewhat more ‘mellow’ filter’. While my fundamental Christian beliefs remain unaltered, I’ve come to respect the dignity of those whose differ, and attempt to listen more, speak less, and view issues from their perspective rather than legalistically promoting mine. God alone is the loving creator and equitable judge of all.

  7. Beautiful piece.
    I notice I am kinder to myself as I age and don’t feel the need to be in a rush to prove something to myself all the time.
    I have always been an empathetic, patient listener and do not offer advice unless the talker asks. But I tended to jump to conclusions or judge people sometimes because of one or two negative incidents. Now I try hard to give them a second and sometimes even a third chance to prove my opinions about them wrong.
    What has not changed and will not change, is my belief that everyone has opinions about their spirituality and how to attain it. I accept and respect that so, I never engage in arguments, nor do I try to change their minds. As long as others don’t try to impose their beliefs on me or tell me that my way of reaching spirituality is wrong, I am fine.

    1. What is fundamental in you then is your respect for individuality, which is great! Everyone has their path they walk on. I think keeping some parts of us stable gives us a sense of safety.

  8. Such an interesting topic, Betul! I would say as I’ve grown older, I’ve lost the black/white dichotomy or what is right/wrong and tend to see things more as shades of gray where I’m more empathetic to the journey of how people get to be who they are. I think that rings true with many of the comments that you’ve gotten here, we may be less effective activists as we age but hopefully better agents of creating cohesion.

  9. Interesting topic and one I’ve thought of from time to time. I once read a quote which said that people do not change, they show more of who they are. It’s stuck with me and oft tines, I ponder on human behaviour and whether that vein of thinking is accurate. It’s tantamount to saying that whatever behaviour you may see exhibited by Person X, they’ve long possessed those traits or behaviours and will show them when necessary; given the context. So good/bad, right/wrong, stingy/altruistic- these characteristics lie within. I don’t know yet how I truly feel about that quote. Sometimes I think it’s spot on and other moments, maybe it is that we have changed (whether for good or worse). 🤷🏽‍♀️

    1. It is an interesting quote. Never heard of it. I mean, I do believe people can change, so I am not sure how to feel about it. But I will definitely think more about it.

  10. I have become muted since five years and used to be highly sensitive and very kind in nature. Life teaches many things not the discipline, determination that the life expects. I have learned to carry a thick skin around my bruised ego and limping health setbacks. Overall, things are adventurous when it comes to life and took lots of time to develop this attitude. Now am open for any changes that are bound to happen in my life.

  11. I don’t find it alarming or concerting if people change their opinions when given more information or if life experience teaches them something new. I feel this is a natural and healthy response to life!

    I’d be much more concerned about individuals who refuse to change out of feeling they need to stand by their opinions no matter what, and no matter the cost to themselves or to others!

  12. If we don’t change, I don’t know that we’re growing in any meaningful way. I have changed so much from the person I was when I first got married. I have a lot of different experiences under my metaphorical belt, and I’ve been through a lot, so I’m more outspoken, or not as shy, as I used to be. Also, having children definitely changes you. At least it did me. My core beliefs are the same, but politically and regarding social issues my kids have challenged my thinking.

    1. It is always good to take a challenge! These experiences and changes always teach us a lot of good life lessons, so we grow thanks to them. They are good for us at the end of the day.

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