Internal Talk

Hi! Let’s talk about how we talk to ourselves today.

Internal talk is the communication that goes on within you. You encounter an unpleasant or challenging situation. What do you say to yourself? That is internal talk. This talk is vital in shaping our perspective. Let’s say you said something awkward in a meeting. Do you blame yourself and say you are stupid? Or do you say that this happens to everyone every now and then?

I had sort of a blaming internal talk for some time. When I noticed how much I was doing it, I decided to take action and turned it into a more accepting talk (mostly). This year, I noticed another type of internal talk I was doing. When I felt lazy or when I started getting into an emotional or thought loophole, I talked harshly to my brain. Let’s say something in my past started bugging me in my thoughts. Previously, I would just stay in the loophole and do nothing. Now, when that happened, I externally said to myself ‘Shut up and get up’ (or anything to that effect) in a harsh tone and it worked like magic! I would always get up and be able to focus on an actual task instead of getting lost. I never knew that being harsh could work for me and I had always been a fan of being kind to yourself. But maybe some situations are excusable in this aspect. Now I believe that what is happening here is that my brain can no longer find excuses for the situation. When someone tries to explain in detail why I need to do something, my brain finds loopholes in any logic established. If you directly say ‘Do it’, it cannot. I did so much and I feel so much happier with this method that I never knew was possible for me!

What is your internal talk like? Did you notice any changes, effects or patterns? Let’s talk about how we talk to ourselves!

Betul


20 thoughts on “Internal Talk

  1. I’m in physical therapy right now and that inner talk is SO important to my success! I’m TERRIBLE at it, but I’m trying to do better 😩🙈

  2. I try to be kind to myself, but it’s an uphill battle. I’ve been through so much that is difficult that it’s hard not to be hard on myself. On the other hand, I’ve survived 100% of the stuff I’ve been through! Yay, me!

  3. Find solace and know that “things” do not happen to everybody. If it did, then you would be ok and not be judged by people. OBVIOUSLY it happens to you. However, I have learned to not have ego and reshaped my Id to be able to say, “I don’t know.” You can’t know all the answers, and if you are able to do that, you’ll be 96.5% correct. However, don’t stay ignorant! Learn what you didn’t know and empower yourself. That way, your internal voices are suppressed and you yourself stop self judgement.

      1. Like what? Those people are called hypocrites. And they are still unaware of themselves. I’m a doctor and I smoke. I tell people NOT to smoke, because they care for their lives. I don’t care much for mine. Is that a good example?

      2. What I had in mind is cases where this happens because of a deep insecurity, so not your case. For example, somebody who is a compulsive liar accuses everyone else for doing the same. These kinds of people often cannot say I don’t know.

      3. This is called projection. It’s a childish response to guilt and can easily be seen, because usually there is no logic. Hypocrisy is saying one thing while doing another. Another thing authors get wrong is the concept of passive-aggresive. Someone has to be given an order and by doing that order while groaning is the definition of passive-aggresive. It’s an army thing. Like most psychological observations…

  4. My internal talk almost always is chiding myself.
    If something or someone is bothering me and I just can’t stop thinking about it, I give myself a good talk! ” Stop it right now or you are going to do your head in.” Or, “It or they are not worth it.”
    If I have said something inadvertently and hurt someone or am hurt by someone’s remark and have not responded at the time and am overthinking about what I could, would, or should have said, I try and talk myself out. Not always with success but I do try.
    At times I talk harshly to myself and get out of laziness by shaming myself with words!

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