True Self-Esteem 2

True, intrinsic self-esteem is extremely conducive to happiness. But self-esteem that is merely contingent, on the other hand, is not. Following up on a previous post, I want to share a few contrasts between true and contingent self-esteem. Gabor Mate identifies these in Scattered (see chapter 25). Contingent self-esteem...True self-esteem...evaluatesaccepts"is fickle, going up and down... Continue Reading →

a note on trauma

trauma is a still-unhealed wound, still carried within oneself traumatic event, or traumatizing event, is the thing that caused the trauma often 'trauma' is used to mean traumatizing event. this seems fine to me, so long as the meaning is understood. However, The distinction between trauma and traumatizing event is perhaps not widely understood or... Continue Reading →

True Self-Esteem

Not long ago, I read something about self-esteem that seems important to share. It's a distinction between contingent and true self-esteem. Or rather, a distinction between self-esteem, and something that looks like self-esteem, but isn't. Gabor Mate puts it like this: "Self-esteem based on achievement has been called contingent self-esteem or acquired self-esteem. Unlike contingent... Continue Reading →

A condition for meaningfulness?

Recently, my teammate AP2 published a touching post about life's meaning. A major point he sought to make was this: "our lives hold as much meaning as we give them" which he connects with the danger of losing a sense of meaningfulness, the danger of getting swallowed up by a personal existential nihilism, of becoming... Continue Reading →

An atheist praying?

Sometimes I remember a writer, I can't recall who, describing a friend who though atheist, sometimes goes into a church and prays. photo by SeekerFive The writer had noticed this about his friend and was perplexed: How, or why, is he praying, if he does not believe in a god to pray to? His friend... Continue Reading →

What can you get out of all that fear?

Most of the world, it seems, has experienced a great deal of fear during this past year. I'm not thinking primarily of the recent U.S. election or the current U.S. presidential transition. There had already been enough fear to write this post after a month or two of pandemic-occasioned "lock down." Timelines differ around the... Continue Reading →

More thoughts on destiny…

A few days ago, Bogdan brought up destiny in one of his posts, which got me thinking more about this notion. It often seems, or at least is presented as, mysterious. But on reflection, the basic concept itself was fairly straightforward. One's destin-y is one's eventual destin-ation. It's where you'll arrive, the place you'll end... Continue Reading →

The Failing Master and Success

You may have noticed a certain internet meme featuring Yoda and this pithy saying: The difference between a master and a beginner is that the master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried. I think there’s a lot to this, and it’s had me thinking about failure and success. Of course there’s... Continue Reading →

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